One of my weaknesses that held me back from pursuing my dreams for major part of my life was fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence that I needed to overcome that fear.
It is something most of us face, to some degree, I believe. The key question: how do you overcome this fear?
By working on your self-confidence and self-esteem. Without really thinking of it in those terms, that is what I’ve been doing over last few years, and that’s what helped me in finally overcoming my fears, and finally pursuing my dreams.
I still have those fears, undoubtedly. But now I have a firm belief that I can beat them, that I can break through that wall of fear and come out on the other side. I have done it many times now, and that success fuels further success.
Given below are some of my experiences in the form of tips to boost self-confidence:
Groom yourself
This seems like such an obvious one, but it is amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self esteem. There will be days when you can turn your mood around completely with this one little thing.
Dress Wisely
Dressing well and appropriately can do wonders for one's confidence. If you dress nicely, you will feel good about yourself. You will feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world.
Many of us wear clothes which appear nice on the clothes rack but do not suit our body type. Wear clothes that fit you well. If you are on the healthier side, wear clothes which are not too tight yet not loose or baggy, which just adds to the bulk and does not make you look any better.
Good dressing does not mean you have to spend big money in designer brands. Select your clothes wisely -- it is quality not quantity which counts. Pick up a few outfits which make a statement instead of loads of outfits that do nothing for your self esteem.
Think positive
One of the things I learned when I started blogging, about four years ago, about how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. How I can change my thoughts, and by doing that make great things happen. With this simple little skill, I was able to work hard and design a successful blog within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you have not.
Changing your thought patterns is not an easy task. You will have to start monitoring your thought process and figure out what kind of person you are...A positive person or a negative person. You will have to start replacing your negative thoughts with positive ones...
Keep in mind if you decide you can achieve anything...you can do wonders if you decide...everything is in your limits...
Get to know yourself
Before going into a battle, the wisest generals try to gather as much information as possible about their enemy. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing his strengths and weakness. And in case you are trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the feelings you have about yourself, and try to figure out why you have such negative thoughts.
And then think about good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you are good at. Start analyzing your limitations, and whether they are real limitations or just those which you have allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you will come out with greater self-confidence.
Act positive
More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, as a matter of fact, is the key to build self-confidence. It is another thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you transform yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are as a person. Act in a positive way, take action instead of thinking you can’t, be positive. Talk and behave with people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. People will soon start noticing a positive difference in you.
Good posture
Good posture has an immediate and lasting impact on ones self confidence. Do you recollect the time you were at the door, about to face a job interview? What did you do instinctively? Didn't you take a deep breath? By doing that 2 things happen -- your stomach goes in and your head is held high.
Always hold your head high, throw your shoulders back, keep your back straight and walk with confidence. Practice in the mirror a few times to make sure you are doing it right, without looking too stiff.
Smile often
To look and feel confident, make sure to smile. Smile as much as you can and, if you can manage, let a tiny smile hang around the corners of your mouth. In all your interactions, make proper eye contact with people, greet them and smile. You will see the other person transform in front of you.
Speak slowly
Such a small thing, but it can have a big difference in how other people perceive you. A person in command, with authority, speaks slowly. It reflects confidence. A person who feels that he is not worth listening to will speak quickly, because he does not want to keep others waiting on something which is not worthy of listening to. Even if you do not feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel high on confidence. Of course, you do not have to take it to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.
Set small targets and achieve them
People generally make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they loose heart and courage. Instead, set small goals that are much more achievable. Set a target you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You will feel good about that. Now set another small target and achieve that. The more you successfully achieve small goals, the better you will feel about yourself. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.
Be empathic
Your confidence levels increase dramatically when you successfully connect with people around you. For that to happen you need to be empathic towards your family, friends and colleagues to begin with. Once you can deal and help other people with their emotions and problems, you will start notice having an increasing influence among your circle of friends, acquaintances and colleagues.
Be grateful
I am a strong believer in gratitude, as anyone who is been reading about sprituality and positivity. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humble activity. It can also be a very positive and rewarding activity which will improve your self worth.
Exercise
Exercise is one of the most important and easy thing that makes you feel good about yourself. All you need to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you will reap great benefits.
Find solutions to problems
Do not procrastinate or run away from your problems. The sign of a confident person is that he or she faces the problem head on and finds a solution. If you do not think you can handle it on your own, there is no shame in looking for help. Discuss about it with friends or relatives, or write it down while listing out different solutions, pros and cons.
